MOAR SNUGGIES FFFFFFT

A picture’s worth 1000 words, huh? WELL THIS ONE’S WORTH 2012, MOTHERFUCKERS.
SO I’M JUST WARNING YOU NOW
THIS DESCRIPTION, AS ALWAYS, WAS WRITTEN DURING PRODUCTION OF THE PICTURE
AND IT IS FUCKING HUGE.
ALSO I THINK I’M TYPING SO MUCH TO TRY AND BLOCK OUT THE FACT THAT I JUST SPENT UNTOLD HOURS DRAWING AND COLORING VAMP’S THIGH.
D8

Goddamn, yeah. Vamp and Raiden. Again. Shit I have so many other things I need to be doing, what have you two done to me leave me alone.

AND HOLY FUCKING SHIT, YOU GUYS, THERE’S A BACKGROUND.
A BACKGROUND. YOU GUYS THIS IS EPIC.
*shaky arm flail*
God and now that it’s done I can finally get back to working on my submissions for the MGS Fanbook thing.
Fuck and those pillows. I couldn’t help myself, I had to have blinding gay pillows somewhere.

And you know, I think the phrase “I would rather fight with you than have sex with anybody else” works quite well for them.
Probably mostly because their fights LOOK LIKE SEX ANYWAY.

I hate how I color.
Muddy. It’s muddy. Whenever I try and color something like this I always wind up making it suck more with my nasty muddy coloring. Fuck. It makes me sick just looking at it.
And that red blanket thing there just kind of took on a life of its own. It also decided that it really wanted to try and be a curtain when it grows up.

Shit the Piña Colada song just came on my iTunes and now I’ve got this horrible image of Raiden stuck with Rose and he does the whole personal ad correspondence thing then he’s waiting at the bar and Vamp walks in and and IF YOU LIKE MAKIN’ LOVE AT MIIDNIGGHHT IN THE DUUUUNNEESS ON THE CAAAPE I’M THE LOOVE THAT YOU’VE LOOKED FORR COME WITH MEE AND ESCAPE FFFFFT

Also, what the shit, can I just tell you guys that it was so hard to draw them, to try and get them to have at least some resemblance to themselves. Shit. Vamp, especially. GAY VAMPIRES ARE LIKE MY SPECIALTY VAMP WHAT IS YOUR DEAL
And dude, I’m sorry, I tried to make that bullet wound in your head look sexy but I don’t think there’s any workin’ that thing.
And I apologize that Vamp’s veins aren’t exactly how they’re supposed to be. I’m pretty sure they’re not in the exact places (EVEN THOUGH I HAD LIKE A BUNCH OF PICTURES OF HIM AND MEDICAL DRAWINGS OF THE VEINS OF THE ARM AND THE VEINS OF THE WHOLE BODY IN FRONT OF ME WHILE I WORKED), and they’re not as prominent as they are in 4, either—I wanted to try and make it look more like they were showing through semi-translucent skin hit by sunlight rather than the BAMVEINS we see in 4.
And I think my brain keeps shying away from thinking about Vamp’s body too much at any given time because he still creeps me right the fuck out and is bendy in ways that I don’t even want to know about.

You know what, this takes place a couple years after MGS2. ProStalker!Vamp has abducted Mr Paleass and taken him back to his house for a bit. And I like to figure that Vamp would have a fucking sweet-ass house, with lots of big Oriental rugs and fainting couches and pillows with tassels on them and big paintings that are originals from like the Renaissance and fancy big windows and heavy drapes and WALL SCONCES and fancy ornate Eastern European dressers and I bet his bed has a canopy because canopy beds FUCKING ROCK.
And a really cool kitchen.
Because, you know, vampires need kitchens. And I sort of want to see him with pretty oven mitts on.
I bet he makes a wicked quiche. Man I could go for a spinach and mushroom quiche right now.
God you know and I bet he’s got the mirrors over his bed D: Like, sewn onto the canopy.

Oh shit and I just watched like all the Codec calls you can have in SSBB and Snake, seriously, you and Otacon deserve each other. And those calls are fucking hilarious.
SNAKE SAID POKEMON HURRHURRKLDJFGDF

Gah Vamp’s got kissable pornstar lips, what is this. Well he sorta does anyway, so it’s not my fault.
And you perverts, they’re just sleeping after a really lengthy, exhausting game of chess. Lasted all night, required lots of strategy and stamina. And I’m pretty damn sure that Vamp is more comfy to sleep on/near than Rose And Her Lies. Which is saying something because it’s, you know, Vamp. And I bet he’s warmer to the touch than she is; Rose seems like her skin would feel really clammy, if one ventured to touch her. And hell, I know I’d feel more comfortable around Vamp (barring the fact that he’s still a fucking freaky bastard), because at least he’s fairly straightforward with his intentions. And he never lied to Raiden or totally fucked with him like that devil woman did. God I hate Rose.

Oh Jesus Christ look how gay this picture came out. The coloring makes it look gayer than it normally would. I color gay. This is ridiculous. AND VAMP IS PRACTICALLY SPARKLING IN THE SUNLIGHT OH MY GOD
Although he would, in fact, beat the living shit out of Edward, amirite. We should have a vampire Smackdown or something. VAMP VS EDWARD, KAIN VS NOSFERATU, ALUCARD VS LESTAT Y/Y?? Shit I might have to draw than now.

DOOONNTTT YOUU TOUCH MY BOOYFFRIEEENND HE’S NOT YOUR BOOYYFRIEND HEE’S MIIINNNEE

And do we actually know when Vamp was born? I have yet to play 4 (WOE) so unless there’s some earth-shattering moment when Vamp tells us all about his childhood and where he grew up and his puppy’s name and the pattern of his mother’s apron and how the trees looked in early spring and oh yeah his whole family died in a church bombing and he was run through by a crucifix of all things then I think I know pretty much all there is out there about him, which is admittedly little. But it was a church bombing, which means that, you know, bombs were used, and probably being used extensively in whatever conflict was going on at the time, because why would you waste a bomb on such a small civilian location if bombs weren’t being used for a wider range of purposes anyway. And we’ve got the French, Germans, Russians, and Austro-Hungarians developing special aircraft for the carrying and releasing of bombs before WWI. And Romania suffered over 400,000 civilian deaths by 1914 border standards, and some 120,000 killed in military operations by modern border standards (I think). So he could have been alive around then. Which would make him over 100 by the time MGS4 rolls around. He’d be older than Ocelot lol. And I don't think there was extensive bomb use in the 1853 Austrian Occupation of Moldavia and Wallachia. He could have maybe been around during WWII or the Romanian Revolution of 1989 but that would make him too young, I feel. But then does he in fact share the vampire quality of immortality, disregarding the nanomachines? Not in the can’t-kill-him-with-a-billion-bullets-to-the-face way, of course, but just, you know, regular immortality. But then most vampires stay looking the age they were when they were turned, so if he falls under that category then he would have still had to have been (holy shit I just noticed all the woulds and haves I’ve been using. Thanks, linking verbs) living with his family at the age of like 30. Or maybe he hit some sort of vampire puberty and got stuck at that age. Or maybe they’re all fucking liars and he’s not anything remotely resembling a vampire at all, just a regular dude who is still pretty fucked up and can do a lot of shit that normal people can’t. But he’s got the teeth and the fastness and the strength and the gayness and the MMMBLOOD and the vague aura of fabulosity that floats around most vampires these days. AUGH HE’S SO MYSTERIOUS But then when *SPOILER* Snake shoots him up with the nanomachine-repressing drug he still takes an assload of damage when he’s fighting Raiden for the last time. And goes splat on the ground. And keeps toodling around until Miss Fucktard shows up and shoots him up and shuts off his nanos. Shit Vamp why can’t you just be a normal vampire born in the Middle Ages and then pike a bunch of people and have a castle and everything else. Bastard.
And pointy ears! He has those too. Nanomachines don’t give you pointy ears.

Of course, if the answer for my original question is in fact given in MGS4 then well whatever, fuck me running.

Wait a minute—pierced by a crucifix? And buried in rubble? How the fuck would consuming the blood of your family members keep you alive during all that? HOW WOULD IT DO ANYTHING POSITIVE FOR YOU AT ALL? THIS IS CLEARLY THE MOST GLARINGLY SILLY THING IN THE METAL GEAR UNIVERSE

God and now I want to draw Vamp and Raiden doing a big ballroom dance thing like in Van Helsing lulz I love that movie D:

Wait another minute, in Kojima’s world, does being impaled by a crucifix turn you into a vampire? Does it? Shit that would be retarded. But it would explain, like, everything. Almost.

I just looked up. My god, if you read all that, you have my sincerest apologies. And some cookies.


I’ve also discovered that I love Raiden. I thought I was indifferent regarding him, but I guess I was wrong. I love that fucked up kid. Seriously. And I’ll try and draw just him by himself standing there looking cool at some point rather than being all draped over another man. I actually really want to draw all of him, so we’ll see if I have the patience for it. And I kinda want to draw Vamp too _{because I sorta really like how he’s shaped ; n ;}
Although, knowing me, I’ll probably wind up drawing them engaging in the most debauched and lewd sort of physical activity before I get around to anything even remotely resembling something that wouldn’t make your grandmother’s eyebrows burn off.
And Raiden, dude, wtf is wrong with you, Rose sucks. Nobody I know likes Rose. Why in fuck’s name would you go back to someone who fucked around with you that much and who doesn’t really love you. God. Devil woman has no soul. But then I guess he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go. Well he could just live with Snake and Otacon and Sunny and hang out with Sunny in the treehouse that Otacon and Snake totally built and they all tell ghost stories and eat popcorn. Which I’m sure they do anyway.

I asked my sister in the course of a conversation where she thought Vamp got his unending supply of knives and her answer was enlightening, as always.
“No maybe he’s like a Pez!”
I just wanted to share that with you guys.

And you see Vamp’s legs? Yeah those are my legs. Really studly versions of my legs. Got muscle cramps from sitting here in my chair with either leg bent and the rest of me twisted around to try and see what the fuck they looked like at different angles. Fffft.

Oh my god I’m so tired. Oh goddamn this description is like four pages long. What the fuck. Shit I don’t even care, I’M POSTING ALL OF IT.
HAH.





Pillow Patterns: Fuck I don’t even remember, if I do I’ll post the sources. Mostly just from farting around google.
Time: God I don’t even know TOO FUCKING LONG
Tools: PSCS
Listened to: EVERYTHING I HAVE
Sustained by: tea, Hob Nobs, assload of chocolate